For a moment she lost herself in the warmth of her tea. Probably the closest she's come to comfort in a long time. And when she finally looked up at me you could see the loneliness and suffering in her eyes. She's been married for over five years. But in all honesty four of them have felt like she's been alone.

I posed a funny question on facebook the other day. It was inspired by a show called braking bad that I've been watching lately. The question was, "Does true love include the willingness to launder money for the one u love? Just wondering..." I didn't really expect anyone to respond. But people did. So I reassured my friends and family that I wasn't in love with someone who asked me to be all shady and launder their money for them. Which I hoped put people's mind at ease.

Whenever I give a talk about finding a loving relationship I start by stressing how important it is to own our need for finding a partner. We need to have a strong desire for a loving relationship and that means admitting that we are missing something in ourselves.

The philosopher Francis Bacon said that, "They are ill discoverers that think there is no land, when they can see nothing but sea." When you're looking for your Soulmate you're going to be looking at a lot of sea. Miles and miles of it. And you have to be OK with that. Seeing beyond it even. Trusting and knowing that the land of Soulmate lovers is out there somewhere. Just past the horizon. So stay the course, work the sails, and enjoy the journey.

Love makes us do crazy things. In the origins of Valentines Day we learn about St. Valentine and his conviction to love. A strength that was so strong it transcended human law.

I'm not quite sure where I first read The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer but that matters little now. Why? Because this beautiful and inspired piece of writing touch the deep essence of myself. Using words that I knew exiisted but that I couldn't quite unleash from my soul.

When love beckons to you, follow him, Though his ways are hard and steep. And when his wings enfold you yield to him, Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you. And when he speaks to you believe in him, Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

True love isn't all fluffy clouds and puppy dogs. Love hurts. It's a fact. One that we like to forget. But it's there. Hiding. Waiting for the right moment to strike. Bestselling author Neil Gaiman had this to say about true love, “Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

Sometimes it's hard to be alone. You turn on the radio and a love song is playing. You flip on the t.v. and a late night romantic comedy is on. Or you're walking down the street and it seems that everyone you see is holding hands and in love. Everywhere you turn reminds you that you're still single. That your own true love seems to be a million miles away.

Everyone wants to feel love, to be in love and to know that they are loved by someone. We dream about it. Sometimes secretly when we're alone at night. Fantasizing about the perfect partner. A person who "gets" us. But a lot of times finding your Soulmate can seem to be just out of reach. And after months, maybe even years of searching for our Soulmate we get frustrated, jaded and depressed. And in our loneliness we start to ask ourselves, "Does everyone have a soulmate?" Or even worse, we start to believe that there's no one special out there in the world for us.